Kasen's True Thoughts On Youkai

MUSINGS OF A SENNIN WITH A FAIRLY AWESOME ARM, ENTRY #827296392739
On Youkai And Morons~

-The Different Types Of Youkai
There are many types of Youkai that exist in our world. One type is simply species of Youkai... Within the species, all have common traits, powers, physical appearances, and of course, flavour. All Crow Tengu are easily identified as Crow Tengu, usually due to the fact that they are a group of moronic imbeciles that constantly smash through walls, screaming some intensely irritating catchphrase, as if they are some kind of Albanian Rocket Car that has lost it's roof in a freak skydiving accident. All Kappa are easily identified as being Kappa thanks to their complete refusal to refuse to not neglect to move at the hint of the mildest of danger - and so on and so forth. While personalities and abilities can vary widely within species, the shall all share the same general, prick-esque qualities.

The other type of Youkai are, to put it simply, embodiments of concepts. Putting it simply, however, is the only way that these dope-faced gits would understand, if not even that. For instance, Rumia is the representative of Darkness, HOWEVER, her simple brain simply cannot make her go to the Human Village and purchase some headlights for seeing in the dark with. Instead, she hits trees constantly with all the visual proficiency of a particularly stupid newborn mole.

These conceptial Youkai vary greatly. Some are powerful due to the nature of the concepts that they represent. For example, Yukari is an ancient and powerful Youkai, possibly the most powerful to exist. She represents a basic and fun/fundamental concept - Trolling, Messing Around, and generally Abusing her powers beyond the levels of a British Governmental Official, which is saying something. There is a definition for everything that exists, but Yukari doesn't care all that much about that. Instead, she just decides to seperate them in a manner designed to piss people off to no end. Indeed, even the most powerful boundaries and definitions are not safe from her if she wishes to have fun, and so, if you are in a bad mood, trust Yukari to arrive and take your fragile little state... And mould it into a Tire Iron wound.

Others, such as Yuuka, are simply as powerful as they are due to age and experience. To put it one way, she is the embodiment of nature itself... Yet cannot do anything with it bar make sunflowers. I mean, in all honesty, how crap is that? Yes, Yukka could remove your face and use it as fertiliser, but still... Sunflowers? You've got to be fucking kidding me, really...

There are other types of Youkai, however... Some animals, if they live long enough, shall turn into certain species of Youkai. Sadly however, this does not seem to be the case with hippos, geese, honey badgers, weasels, cheese weasels, flamingos, cows, fleas, giraffes, poison dart frogs, rattlesnakes that eat grass, and of course, Ice Hockey fans.

-The Existance and Creation Of Youkai
It takes roughly one century for a being to become a Youkai. That is roughly the same time it takes to fix a Raijuu's relationship with another Raijuu (Dear GOD, that was hard...), Marisa returning her books, or for Reimu to gain enough money to purchase all of Gensoukyou. Everything seems to take a century, which to me is repetitive and cliched. Why can't it ever be 137.81 years instead? These types of question have provided me with many a sleepless night...

But how do the Youkai actually become Youkai, you ask? ... Wait a minute, you asked? Well... They become Youkai via the use of magic (Note that this answer is probably the most truthful answer here, yet can be used for anything, like a Swiss Army Knife, or Guile's Theme).

Anyways, to sum up, this entire entry has been so very, very useless. Perhaps you should go and read the actual one, because it's actually much better. In fact, disregard all that I have wrote here, otherwise Ishall use my mystic hermit powers to... Deck you.

'''-Kasen Ibaraki, the most powerful hermit... In the world.'''

((Author's notes: This is, quite simply, rubbish in comparison to the real Kasen's very well done guide, to be honest... Go read that instead, it's far more well made and Kasen, unlike me, did not give up halfway through whilst writing.))